Rule #1: Keep the Toast Short
Rule #303: Burn That Sh*t to the Ground
Rule #63: It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Rule #97: It Takes Two to Stab Yourself in the Butt
Rule #149: Don't Eat the Yellow Snow
Rule #773: Step and Repeat
Rule #155: Go with the Magician
Rule #930: Plan for New Plans
Rule #49: Let It Shine
Rule #706: Let Them Eat Cupcakes
Rule #10: Just Survive
Rule #776: The Cat Is Always on the Roof
Rule #91: Run Toward What Scares You
Rule #218: There's No Crying in Baseball
Rule #99: Cook Naked
Rule #225: What Happens in Bakersfield Stays in Bakersfield
Rule #188: Mind Your Side of the Plate
Rule #59: "Happily Ever After" Is an Oxymoron
Rule #876: Everything Does Not Happen for a Reason
Rule #118: Let Her Eat Cake
Rule #36: If You Can't Stand the Heat, You're Cooked
Rule #81: There's No Crying in Porn
Rule #101: Know When It's Time to Move On
Rule #92: Don't Do the Crime If You Can't Do the Time
Rule #46: Keep the Holidays Low Key
Rule #3: Don't Stand in the Doorway
Rule #32: F-you, Rob Frumpkis!
Rule #137: Move Your Car
Rule #43: When One Door Opens, There's an Icy Draft
Rule #79: Labels Are for Canned Goods
Rule #14: No Means... No
Rule #25: Beware the Second Chance
Rule #72: It's Never Too Late to Be a Mean Girl
Rule #605: You Can Go Home Again
Rule #8: Timing Is Everything
Rule #77: Don't Blow the Bubble
Rule #58: Avoid the Douchemobile
Rule #17: Ask the Answer Lady
Rule #67: Don't Kill the Princess
Rule #33: When in Doubt, Run Away
Rule #21: Leave Childishness to the Children
Rule #426: Fantasyland: A Great Place to Visit
Rule #47: Always Take Advantage of "Me" Time
Rule #174: Never Trust Anyone Who Charges by the Hour
Rule #23: Never Lie to the Kids